Upon Returning
by Mad-about-a-Boy
Summary: What if Bella's reaction to Edward's return in New Moon was a little bit more realistic, a little bit angrier? Oneshot.


This is not an original premise and it's not a spectacular attempt by anyone's standards, my punctuation and grammar is terrible, but I felt I had to give it a go because I was always so frustrated by Bella's lack of a real response to Edward's abandonment and subsequent return. This hasn't been Beta-ed so I apologise for any and all mistakes. Reviews are welcomed, even if you just want to tell me how crap and unoriginal I am.

**On Returning**

She awoke; too warm and too disorientated to do more than open her eyes and groan. Immediately there was movement from the distant corner of her room and then cold hands were pulling her up and leaning her against a cool wooden headboard. Groaning again, Bella dragged a hand down her face and opened her eyes to survey her dimly lit room. "Ugh, how long was I asleep for?" She asked, cringing at her husky voice.

"About 14 hours, I thought about waking you but you needed the rest." Edward replied cautiously as Bella finally opened her eyes to look at him.

"No wonder I feel like crap," she answered rubbing her eyes again and sighing. "Did you stay the entire time?"

"I told you I wouldn't leave Bella and I meant it." Edward replied earnestly looking into her face and examining her reaction.

"I wonder how long that resolve will last." Bella answered flatly, hating the bitterness in her voice but feeling powerless to stop it.

Edward flinched and leaned forward to speak in a low, passionate voice, "Bella…I've learned from my mistake and I'll never leave you again. I know it's selfish of me and I know that I'm putting you at risk but I was so…lost and empty without you. I couldn't bare it. I just…gave up. If Rosalie hadn't called, I would have been back within the year anyway." Bella looked at him and felt only mild pleasure to hear the sincerity in his voice and see the love in his eyes. Instead she felt an unexpected anger rise within her.

"You were going to...come back?" she chocked out through the sudden lump in her throat and the furious watering of her eyes, her body's reaction to her barely suppressed anger. Edward looked confused and alarmed as he eyed her guardedly.

"Yes Bella, of course I was! I love you and without you my existence is meaningless." He slowly moved forward to reach for her hand but she pulled it away and glared at him.

"You love me? Now you love me? Does that mean you were lying in the forest? When you told me I was just a…a _distraction. _Or are you lying now for some mysterious reason?" Edward looked shocked and pained,

"Bella, how could you believe that? How could you have such little faith in my love for you? I killed James for you! I forced myself to stop drinking your blood to save you from this- this disgusting half life! Bella…of course I love you!" Bella felt an angry flush work its way up her neck as she clenched her fists and leaned forward.

"How could I believe that? Easily! Edward, you confirmed every insecurity I had about our relationship, you played on every fear I had and then you just walked away. You left me curled up crying on the forest floor. You hurt me so badly I couldn't even think about getting up and finding my way out. I was there for hours." Edward cringed at the anguish in her voice and the picture her words created. He put his head in his hands and looked up at her guiltily,

"I was just trying to do what was best Bella. I'm a monster in human clothing and Jasper proved just how dangerous monsters like me can be." Bella sighed and shook her head leaning forward towards Edward's hunched form.

"Best for who Edward? You didn't even ask me! If you were trying to do what's best for me, don't you think it would have been better to discuss it with me so we could make a decision like the mature, adult couple we're supposed to be? You put your insecurities and your over-protective nature before our relationship." She snorted, "You're always telling me you're not really a teenager but Edward, that was very melodramatic and_ angsty_." Contemptuously she watched his face darken into a frown as he set his jaw.

"Bella, there was nothing to discuss. You almost died!" Bella shook her head furiously and was overcome with the sudden, maddening urge to stomp her feet and bang her hands on the bed like a petulant child.

"It doesn't matter Edward! I just want to be with you! You're more important to me than my life and you should respect that. We need to be equals. We can't always be the lion and the lamb, that just won't work." He was shaking his head before she'd even finished and was across the room within the blink of her eye. He stood with his back to her, gripping the window frame so tightly that it gave a helpless moan and cracked as he surveyed it with dispassionate eyes. He groaned and turned back to her with the splintered wood in his hands.

"Bella I won't taint you, I won't make you like me. I will stay with you until you die and then…I'll go back to the Volturi and ask Aro to end my existence too. You're too good for this life Bella and I won't ruin you." His head jerked up as he heard her growl of frustration.

"Edward!" She pulled herself up from the bed unsteadily and held out a hand to him in warning as he moved forward to help her. Standing, she looked into his eyes with furious brown eyes and spoke through gritted teeth, "What about Carlisle? Do you consider him to be a monster? Is Esme a monster? Is Alice?" He looked shocked and wary as he shook his head. "But they've killed haven't they? They've lived the same life as you haven't they?"

"It's different." He told her in clipped tone that should have silenced her but Edward had never seen Bella this angry before and didn't know how stubborn she could be.

"Why? Because it's you?" she snorted scornfully and spoke before he could defend himself. "I know you're special Edward, it's why I love you but you're not that special. There is nothing wrong with you; there is nothing that makes you better or worse than Alice. Or Esme. Or even Carlisle whom you so admire. You're all equals and if they're not monsters, than neither are you. That's something you need to accept. You have a soul, you all have souls." Edward reached for her hand and Bella let him hold it as her heart ached for the pain in his eyes.

"I wish I could believe that but it's just not true Bella." He whispered as his thumb stroked the back of her hand gently in an effort to soothe them both but Bella refused to be soothed. She snatched her hand back and stepped back,

"Is yours the only opinion that matters Edward?" Desperately he reached for her but she stepped back again with an almost imperceptible shake of her head.

"No! Bella, _please._" He stared at her earnestly wishing again that he could read her mind, wishing that he could work out how to calm this anger and bring back his sweet Bella. "You are more important to me than anything. I value your opinion above all others; even my own. You are my life." Eying his tortured face, Bella sighed and tried to calm down.

"You may think you love me Edward but you don't treat somebody you love this way: with condescension, half-truths and manipulation. Everything has to be on your terms and you always have to be in control. I'm not your child Edward. Or your responsibility. I'm your girlfriend, the person who wants to be with you for all eternity and you need to treat me with more respect. Physically we may not be equals but mentally, emotionally we should be." A tear slipped down her face and as she reached up to wipe it off, Edward caught her wrist gently and traced the tear's path with his other hand, an almost wistful expression rippling across his face.

"I do love you Bella. I'm so sorry." He leaned forward and enfolded her in his arms. "I never wanted to make you feel this way; you are so precious to me. Everything is so much brighter and more beautiful now that you're in my life, before I met you there was barely a moment of happiness. Even now when the future is so uncertain and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you, I'm happier than I have ever been because I'm holding you. I live because you live." Bella leaned back to look up into his beautiful face, and traced his dear features with her eyes, lingering worriedly on his too dark topaz eyes.

"Oh Edward." She sighed and fell back into his arms, gripping him with all the meagre strength she possessed. "I'm not going to leave you but you…_hurt_ me and it's going to take me a while to get over that. You undermined our entire relationship and you made me think I was _nothing _to you. I can't trust you again until I know you're not lying this time." Her eyes stung with tears and she buried her face in his shirt telling herself she wasn't going to cry. Edward sighed again and cradled the back of her head tenderly, crooning to her softly and gently swaying.

"I'm not lying Bella. I'm here and I love you. I won't leave again. I can't. You are the centre of my universe, the only sun I could ever truly bask in without fear." He stroked her hair lovingly and closed his eyes, "I don't ever want to make you feel weak or unimportant. You're so strong Bella, so beautiful and _stubborn;_ you make me want to give you everything you have ever or will ever want or need…If you need me to come to terms with changing you…I will." He exhaled shakily and met her bright, hopeful eyes as she raised her head.

"Oh Edward, _thankyou_." She whispered in awe and caressed his face adoringly.

"No Bella, thankyou. Living with you for all eternity is a heaven I had never allowed myself to imagine. It always seemed too selfish, too sinful." She searched his face carefully as she placed her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes to place a warm kiss on his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut in ecstasy and he clenched his fists at his sides to maintain control.

"No more lies, no more treating me like a child." She breathed against his cheek and he shuddered lightly as he nodded. She placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed his eye-lids, "mutual trust and love." She sighed against his neck, "no more crap." He nodded solemnly and placed his hands on her waist, opening his eyes to gaze at her in adoration.

"Just love." The fervour in his voice sent a tingle of pleasure across her skin and she nodded dumbly as she gazed into his eyes, more dazzled by his presence than she'd ever been, completely powerless without her anger as a shield. He leaned in with aching slowness and her breath caught as she realised he was going to kiss her. "Forever." He whispered against her lips as he gently kissed her, sending a rush of warmth through her body that cauterised the gaping wound in her chest and erased all her doubts.

"Forever." She mumbled threading her hands through his hair and pressing herself more firmly into his embrace.


End file.
